Be Excellent to Each Other...and to Yourself

...to Each Other

Someone mentioned a scenario today that they came upon someone less fortunate, did something nice for them, the other person even attempted to repay the gesture right back (it was a monetary moment - here's some change back Sir), and I'm guessing said do-gooder felt mixed feelings about it.  Others around weren't doing the same thing, not even close.  Most of us end up in this situation though, right?  We do something nice for someone else, or for a cause we feel strongly about, and it sometimes pulls us into an awkward moment of self reflection.  We do something that makes a difference, and yet in the grand scheme of things, it feels like a very small drop in a very big pond.

The feeling tends to surface more towards this time of year than any other.  The last five weeks of the year (at least here in the US starting with Thanksgiving) focuses on so many things; hanging with others you care about, giving things to others (and receiving things), sharing in good times.  It attempts to boast a shiny, happy feeling, but oftentimes there are so many who are left out in the cold.  And sometimes those who have plenty opportunity for the shiny-happy don't take advantage of truly positive acts for themselves or others.

I think that's what scenario person at the top of this post was experiencing.  A good deed was done, a nicety paid forward to someone who probably doesn't see that very often, and that person in turn was very cool, and very thankful about it.  But scenario person saw that so many of the more fortunate aren't more thankful and should be.  That's the big point.

The point to this rambling blog for the weekend is whether it's the holidays or any other time of year, good deeds matter.  They can catch on, whatever form they take doesn't matter.  The good vibes will be heartfelt, and I'll bet they will be passed on someway, somehow.  If the mood strikes, do something nice for someone.  It'll snowball.  I promise.

Also try and say "Merry/Happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza".  If that doesn't fit who you are, simply say "Hello", "Thanks" or "Have a great day".  Something as simple as a greeting can brighten someone's day.

And if you are doing well, be thankful for that.  Thankful for your health, or a roof over your head, or for family and friends that care about your existence.  That in and of itself might may you happy and/or grateful enough to spread good cheer, or say hello to someone who might not've been spoken to all day.  I'd bet they would appreciate it, and you would too.

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Be Excellent...to Yourselves

If you're a decent person, don't beat yourself up.  You can always go uphill from here.  Whether that's learning more, focusing more on helping others, getting healthy/healthier, changing your career or anything else you deem a positive you need to form a plan of action.  Yes, it might take a while, but believe in yourself that you can do it and you WILL.

Also, if you're not doing so well, don't be down on yourself.  Talk to others; family, friends, a hotline or support group (online or in person).  People are out there to help you, whether they know you or not.  You can get better.

If you know someone out there who is having a rough time, be there for them.  If they don't want help, be there if they need it and keep watch for when they do.  If they do want the help and you're willing to give it, bless you for it.

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To cap off this post for the year, I will say I'm doing alright.  Moni unfortunately passed away at the end of September.  Her breast cancer unfortunately came back and I think it went for her lungs, as her breathing capabilities took a turn for the worst very quickly.  I'd headed out for a trip west to see my brother married, and came back to her behaving much less like herself.  A little over a week later, I made the decision to have her put down (right after the most recent ConGaloosh).  Damn...it never gets any easier.

I reflect on losing her as I do others, critter and people who I loved and left me with wisdom, memories to cherish, and the inevitable whole in my heart.  The pain has been easing up over time, and the flashbacks to when she was here have left me with warm fuzzies in lieu of tears as of late.

Another kind of pain has been around for a while and doesn't seem to be letting up - for 6 or so months, in fact (yes, I am a colossal dumbass for this).  I should've gotten it checked out earlier.  Besides, the culprit has been around just shy of my turning 34, and it's 2 plus years later.  I'll take care of it though.  Come the afternoon of  January 2nd, it'll be one step closer to figuring what's up.  Breast cancer?  Nah, it's not in the family history.  Sure, I could be a trailblazer for it, but I'd rather start something else.  The biopsy/excision I'll have should get rid of whatever is in there, along with the pain that's been spreading.  From there, if it's benign (non-cancer), I think next year will be devoted to experiencing more, learning more and helping more.  If it's malignant (fuck you, cancer), I'll learn more about my options, do what I can to conquer it and move forward.  Helping others in this boat, regardless of the diagnosis sounds like a good plan too.  Illness of this ilk isn't something that should be experienced solitarily.  If you can pass along your experience, what's worked and what hasn't, you never know who it could help.

I guess that's it for the year.  I hope everyone fares well and has a great holiday.  :)

Fragile as Wrapping Paper (and SDCC 2012 recap)

Well, I realized back in March that I forgot to write anything about adventures or happenings from 2012.  Even made a point of saving a placeholder for a post.  And then I let three months slip by.  Whoops!

2012 was a busy year.  I said farewell to a few coworkers (and that added more to my to-do list), hit San Diego Comic Con (aka SDCC) for the third time (missed 2010...I sorely regret that), and the ConGaloosh team and I hosted our fourth gathering since the famed Disney's Adventurer's Club closed.

SDCC in 2012 was so much fun, and I think my meet-up buddy** and I did pretty well in terms of seeing the panels we wanted to see.  The heavy hitters for last year were in Hall H on Saturday, and after a wonderful dinner at the Marina restaurant at Marriott next door on Friday night, on a lark we decided to rough it and stay the night in the Hall H camp out line.

**(Dad, because he truly is the best companion for a weekend like this.)

That was easier said than done.

The first few hours (7 to midnight) were fun, as we made idle chitchat with our neighbors, listened to music or watched movies, and someone even passed along extra pizza to whomever might want some.  Then as folks were starting to wind down, Sir Ian McKellen showed up, surprising dozens of bleary eyed, bed/grass-headed folk as they got up to greet him.  I didn't have anything on me that I could've had him sign, so I stood back and watched the spectacle of it all.  Everyone gave Ian and one another space, and plenty of Thank you's and cheers were heard amongst the crowd.

After that spazz-worthy surprise, I decided to drop down next to my Dad and try to get some shuteye.  We both had jeans on, shirts and jackets/hoodies and shared a small blanket I bought at the Marriott (took turns using it, really), but despite that we were shaking during attempts at sleep for most of the overnight hours.  That surprised me because I've camped out in sub freezing temperatures and yet I was chilled to the bone in 50 something degree weather.  We figured it was due to being near the water with dampness in the air and on the ground that made us so cold.  I think the two of us slept a few hours each.  When the sun rose, I grabbed breakfast from a nearby hotel (Dad got free coffee from a neighbor), and we waited in line until around 10:30am before they let us into the building.

Note: We caught some shuteye during a few of the early panels.  I can't believe I zonked out during Silent Hill part 29, but I did.

The highlights of Hall H were Pacific Rim (del Toro's enthusiasm for his work is infectious), the test preview (??) of Godzilla, which had nearly everyone in the Hall screaming with excitement, Iron Man 3 (Robert Downey Jr's entrance, a literal dance from the back to the front of the Hall was priceless), news on what the next Marvel movies would be, and of course, The Hobbit panel.

Sure, we had fun doing other things.  Going to panels, talking to others in line, seeing the setup for the NBC series Grimm outside of the convention center (including a replica of the infamous trailer full of Wesen deterrent and killing weapons, potions and whatnot), that rounded out the long weekend rather nicely.

Now for this year's SDCC, I can tell you with certainty this time that I'm set for the overnight Hall H line, I know what panels I want to see, and who I may want to meet, if they're there.  But I'll give that another month or so, let the adventure happen and tell my tales here once again.

Onto the topic that helps give sense to the name of this post.  Health issues.  I occasionally have them.  My intracranial hypertension comes and goes, forcing me to go through more eye tests and medicine, though for now it seems to be improving.  But this isn't about me.  Oh no...this involves two individuals who in my eyes do pretty well in this area.  Or they did until recently.

Moni, my eldest cat (and a Munchkin aka short-legged kitty) who turns 17 in July has had a tumor on her tummy for a few years.  Hadn't caused any severe problems, and I figured she might not make it if I took her in to have it removed. (She may have been fixed as an adult by her first owners, which upped her chances of tummy tumors and breast cancer.)  She ended up with another tumor (literally in the past week or so) that surfaced and ulcerated (in other words, eww).  I got her in to see my other cat, Josie's vet and within a few days time she had surgery, had the tumors removed (they were cancerous, but hopefully all was removed), and she's such a tough cookie that she survived!  I was worried about her at first due to her age, but now, I feel she's tougher than I thought she was.

And the other individual in this story is...my Dad.  Yeah, I couldn't believe this either.  He's not uber healthy, but he has generally had it good in this department until recently.  He was diagnosed two or so years back with gluten intolerance (my mom's was ruled out, so I know I got my mild version from him).  His is pretty violent.  He can stand cross contamination of wheat, barley and rye, but can't have it literally in his food.  If he does, he ends up doing an imitation of Linda Blair in The Exorcist.  This past week while he was in town (thankfully for Moni's surgery and recovery), he had a day of gluten free food, but got sick shortly before we were to head out for dinner.  So I waited while he was sick, and when I knew he was going to rest I went out to get myself a meal and get him some light food (7-Up and gluten free soup).  I get back, just start to change into pajamas when I hear a knock on the door and my Dad moaning "Jen" in pain.  I open the door, and he has his hand clutched to his chest.

Aww shit, I thought to myself.  And I took action. 

Back into bed he went, and I dialed 911 to get the EMT's to my place.  I begged him to take some aspirin, but he noted he couldn't (due to some medicine he was taking that might interact).  Double damn. And he was getting pale, though thankfully not clammy nor incoherant.  I gave the person on the line my address, Dad's vitals and waited for the paramedics to arrive.  They checked him out, ran an ECG (heart monitor test) and cleared him at that moment, though they recommended because he was still in pain in the center of his chest that we get him checked out.  So that's what we did, but we went to where they recommended first (a local Care center) and they turned us away (possible heart issues should ALWAYS go to the hospital).  So, off to the hospital we went.  I think we got there at 8pm, and just shy of midnight they finally got information to us on lab tests they ran on him.  His heart was looking good, though his white cell count was still up, and his pain lessened but still going.

He ended up spending the night, having a bunch of heart and stress tests done the next day.  It turns out his blood pressure and cholesterol was great.  (He could've told the doctor's that.)  That morning my Grandmother, Mom and I exchanged phone calls, and we were all on the same wavelength.  My Dad likely had his first gallbladder attack.  The doctor overseeing my Dad's care wasn't sure that was the case, and pointed where the gallbladder was.  Now I wasn't even there and heard this later when I picked him up, but I told my Dad the doc was way off, and that gallbladder pain is often in the center of the chest, just a few inches above the bottom of the rib cage.

Since he's cleared his heart as the culprit, before our next vacation (at SDCC) he has orders to go visit his GI doctor and check out that gallbladder of his and anything else in the area.  I'm glad what happened to him wasn't a heart attack, but if it was gallbladder it's going to happen again.  He'll need to form a gameplan with his doctor to either eat the right foods to lessen the likelihood of another attack, take medicine for it (like Josie the cat), or have it removed.

Anywho, tying back to the fragility of paper, I did feel in the past week or two that a few very special individuals were just that.  I was worried that if I touched them they would rip and tear, but then they showed me how much they wanted to overcome their health issue, I supported them and they succeeded.  I'm glad they both did well.

Before the month is up, I hope to chime in on ConGaloosh, a project that has been very near and dear to me and others.  That and other goings on so far for the year.  But for now, it's back to work.