Be Excellent to Each Other...and to Yourself

...to Each Other

Someone mentioned a scenario today that they came upon someone less fortunate, did something nice for them, the other person even attempted to repay the gesture right back (it was a monetary moment - here's some change back Sir), and I'm guessing said do-gooder felt mixed feelings about it.  Others around weren't doing the same thing, not even close.  Most of us end up in this situation though, right?  We do something nice for someone else, or for a cause we feel strongly about, and it sometimes pulls us into an awkward moment of self reflection.  We do something that makes a difference, and yet in the grand scheme of things, it feels like a very small drop in a very big pond.

The feeling tends to surface more towards this time of year than any other.  The last five weeks of the year (at least here in the US starting with Thanksgiving) focuses on so many things; hanging with others you care about, giving things to others (and receiving things), sharing in good times.  It attempts to boast a shiny, happy feeling, but oftentimes there are so many who are left out in the cold.  And sometimes those who have plenty opportunity for the shiny-happy don't take advantage of truly positive acts for themselves or others.

I think that's what scenario person at the top of this post was experiencing.  A good deed was done, a nicety paid forward to someone who probably doesn't see that very often, and that person in turn was very cool, and very thankful about it.  But scenario person saw that so many of the more fortunate aren't more thankful and should be.  That's the big point.

The point to this rambling blog for the weekend is whether it's the holidays or any other time of year, good deeds matter.  They can catch on, whatever form they take doesn't matter.  The good vibes will be heartfelt, and I'll bet they will be passed on someway, somehow.  If the mood strikes, do something nice for someone.  It'll snowball.  I promise.

Also try and say "Merry/Happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza".  If that doesn't fit who you are, simply say "Hello", "Thanks" or "Have a great day".  Something as simple as a greeting can brighten someone's day.

And if you are doing well, be thankful for that.  Thankful for your health, or a roof over your head, or for family and friends that care about your existence.  That in and of itself might may you happy and/or grateful enough to spread good cheer, or say hello to someone who might not've been spoken to all day.  I'd bet they would appreciate it, and you would too.

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Be Excellent...to Yourselves

If you're a decent person, don't beat yourself up.  You can always go uphill from here.  Whether that's learning more, focusing more on helping others, getting healthy/healthier, changing your career or anything else you deem a positive you need to form a plan of action.  Yes, it might take a while, but believe in yourself that you can do it and you WILL.

Also, if you're not doing so well, don't be down on yourself.  Talk to others; family, friends, a hotline or support group (online or in person).  People are out there to help you, whether they know you or not.  You can get better.

If you know someone out there who is having a rough time, be there for them.  If they don't want help, be there if they need it and keep watch for when they do.  If they do want the help and you're willing to give it, bless you for it.

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To cap off this post for the year, I will say I'm doing alright.  Moni unfortunately passed away at the end of September.  Her breast cancer unfortunately came back and I think it went for her lungs, as her breathing capabilities took a turn for the worst very quickly.  I'd headed out for a trip west to see my brother married, and came back to her behaving much less like herself.  A little over a week later, I made the decision to have her put down (right after the most recent ConGaloosh).  Damn...it never gets any easier.

I reflect on losing her as I do others, critter and people who I loved and left me with wisdom, memories to cherish, and the inevitable whole in my heart.  The pain has been easing up over time, and the flashbacks to when she was here have left me with warm fuzzies in lieu of tears as of late.

Another kind of pain has been around for a while and doesn't seem to be letting up - for 6 or so months, in fact (yes, I am a colossal dumbass for this).  I should've gotten it checked out earlier.  Besides, the culprit has been around just shy of my turning 34, and it's 2 plus years later.  I'll take care of it though.  Come the afternoon of  January 2nd, it'll be one step closer to figuring what's up.  Breast cancer?  Nah, it's not in the family history.  Sure, I could be a trailblazer for it, but I'd rather start something else.  The biopsy/excision I'll have should get rid of whatever is in there, along with the pain that's been spreading.  From there, if it's benign (non-cancer), I think next year will be devoted to experiencing more, learning more and helping more.  If it's malignant (fuck you, cancer), I'll learn more about my options, do what I can to conquer it and move forward.  Helping others in this boat, regardless of the diagnosis sounds like a good plan too.  Illness of this ilk isn't something that should be experienced solitarily.  If you can pass along your experience, what's worked and what hasn't, you never know who it could help.

I guess that's it for the year.  I hope everyone fares well and has a great holiday.  :)