Amazing Times at SDCC, and an Unbelievable Tragedy

It's nearly mid-August, so it's about time I post a recap regarding SDCC.  A week or so prior to the event, they posted the panels and activities that were going to take place.  I had a whopping 3 on my must do list; the panels for Penny Dreadful, Sleepy Hollow and Hall H on Saturday (95% of what was in there that day I wanted to see, so no, I was not a sleeping seat warmer that day).  I did hope to catch Benedict Cumberbatch at the Dreamworks panel in Hall H on Thursday, but ended up at Nerd HQ with tickets to not 1, but 2 panels (Zach Levi, along with Craig Ferguson).  The panels were all great, and I got a decent bit of swag from Ballrooms 20 and Hall H, but I think I scored the most (paid for) swag at the Exhibit hall.  I just allowed myself to buy the majority of what I wanted, from a Penny Dreadful tarot card set, to an SDCC exclusive Rocket Raccoon plush, a signed book and poster from The Oatmeal's creator, labyrinth art, and even a print of a Han Solo kitty that looks like my Lucy!

Note: I got a kitty named Lucy in late January around the time of my surgery.  She's niece to my Josie, and is a bit of a catdog.  I'm not kidding.  Most tuxedo cats are.  :)  She has this habit of tapping you to get attention that is hilarious (unless it's the wee hours of the morning, then it's not so much).

The only downside to the weekend was a  kerfuffle I heard a little bit about Friday night having to do with the new wristband system for Hall H.  I found out much more after the the con. (read here at Crazy4ComicCon)  You see, when folks, old or new to SDCC decide to bend the rules, everyone suffers.  I'm thankful that despite being way the heck back by the Marina (sleeping on tree roots, dirt and ants), my family and I managed to get (group D) wristbands for Saturday's panels, and we got in for them but only just.  We had shown up at 7ish (pm) by the tents just to see what was up and if they would allow lining up yet, as they usually don't allow the line to form until after the last panel has concluded (would've been 8:05pm).  Folks started lining up the day prior (hidden in plain sight in 3 lines closer to the docks and the Godzilla outdoor exhibit), just because they were anxious over the wristbands and the possibility they might not get one!  Are you kidding me?  Have a life, please!  I would bet quite a few wasted a day or two of their passes (swag! experiences! sleep in a hotel bed!) just to sit on the grass and save a spot that didn't exist (until Security said it did).  *sighs*  I hope next year SDCC Security is more strict with line dispersal (there were NO problems during other evenings), and I do hope SDCC is less lenient about folks who bend and break rules when they see fit to do so.  You break the rules, they take your badge.  End of story.

Note: I'm thrilled for those who got to meet Andy Serkis and Lee Pace Friday night in the ADA line and the Hall H tents.  I think I walked to and from that area only 30 minutes before to use the "non scary ladies room".  (We had a few public restrooms in the Marina and Pier area, but the toilets were filthy and the stalls had no friggin' doors!  Talk about a quick 'go'..)

NerdHQ was a new endeavor this year.  As I noted, I went to two panels on Thursday, and we ended up going back over on Sunday afternoon to check out their shirts and hats they were selling (I snagged a free shirt with purchase).  The panels themselves are pretty intimate (read: you're nearly sitting on your neighbor, and there's 300 of us in one cozy area of covered Petco Park space), and if you have a question for the panel guest(s), you need merely raise a hand and get a mike passed to you to ask.  Oh, and the majority of the panels were taped (not Colin, which I think was per CBS, so he relished being able to swear a bit).

This year's vacation met my expectations (hint: I knew I wouldn't be able to do everything, as every must do has a line and an inevitable cutoff point), but at the same time it felt a bit off.  Folks complained there were far fewer "hot panels", but I disagree.  I do think a big problem was Hall H on Saturday (it's just a massive undertaking), though I doubt SDCC's committee would be able to do anything to parse out those panels to other rooms (I think it's a security thing with teaser trailers being illegally filmed).  I'm sure in the coming years, those folks will figure out what needs to be done to ensure a fantastic time and schedule (especially with more Marvel, and Godilla, Pacific Rim and STAR WARS on the horizon), and make sure people follow the rules if the wristband method (or something else) is used to lessen the strain on crowds.

Now, for the sad part to this post.

I've no doubt anyone who pays attention to the news has heard about the unfortunate death of Robin Williams on August 11th.  Further details (aside from the autopsy) will no doubt reveal his life up to his untimely demise.  I just hope it doesn't cause his family and closest colleagues too much grief.  I know, the pain is fresh right now for any of us and everything feels...oversensitive, whether we knew him or not, but I hope we don't find out anything unseemly beyond the tragic details of how he died, which was revealed today on tv by the local police.

I see so many folks chiming in on his substance abuse and battle to remain sober, his depression and even his little talked about bipolar mood swings.  Folks are posting info about suicide hotlines, or numbers folks can talk to about their issues, asking "please don't hurt yourself".  That's all fair and good, though if you know someone, I ask you to do one thing; talk to them.  Whether you know a person is going through temporary or long term darkness, or you don't know for certain matters little.  What matters is communicating with your friends, loved ones and colleagues.  Bond with one another.  Get to know how others are doing, then if anyone does have a hard time, be around with them in whatever way you can.  Even just asking how someone is doing on a given day could make a difference, and tilt the scales in favor of a person feeling worthwhile, or feel that they're having a better day.  If you know or find out they're into substance abuse, keep talking to them. It's nigh impossible to change someone, but if they realize others give a damn about them, they may see the damage they're causing themselves and seek out treatment.

I don't know that I've ever suffered from depression, though I have family who has.  But I have had moments in recent past where I truly felt life's struggle.  Either I felt as if specific roadblocks were preventing me from going further, or I had hurdles that I didn't look forward to.  I will admit here that I considered taking my life (via sleeping pills) a few years back, but talked/cried myself out of it.  I thought about life and death again around the beginning of the year, with the very real possibility of breast cancer looming in my future. (good news - it wasn't cancer, the lumpectomy went fine though I got sick after from pain meds, and the only thing left upset from the ordeal was my wallet)

I have talked with select friends and family about my own demons (the near-suicide attempt and more recent thoughts about it - and they've been good listeners/advice givers), which I viewed as real obstacles that brought me down for unnecessary reasons, not just a fog that brought me down that I couldn't pinpoint.  That's why I'm not truly sure my situation is depression.  If it can be classified as that, okay, I accept that.  But, I've been seeing my outlook on life take this ridiculous turn for the dark, which it shouldn't.  I've started setting goals to complete by age 40, threatening myself to do them "or else", seeing the coming decades as a limitation rather than a gift.  Life shouldn't have a caveat of threats imposed upon it...which is where I need to relearn how to handle myself.  There are so many years ahead, decades of days and nights to live through and complete whatever I wish.  I just have to strategize and figure out what to do, and when.  And I bet when I turn 40 in a few years, I'll be able to do a lot of what I could do (but didn't) in my 30's.  All that's needed is will and determination.