Be Excellent to Each Other...and to Yourself

...to Each Other

Someone mentioned a scenario today that they came upon someone less fortunate, did something nice for them, the other person even attempted to repay the gesture right back (it was a monetary moment - here's some change back Sir), and I'm guessing said do-gooder felt mixed feelings about it.  Others around weren't doing the same thing, not even close.  Most of us end up in this situation though, right?  We do something nice for someone else, or for a cause we feel strongly about, and it sometimes pulls us into an awkward moment of self reflection.  We do something that makes a difference, and yet in the grand scheme of things, it feels like a very small drop in a very big pond.

The feeling tends to surface more towards this time of year than any other.  The last five weeks of the year (at least here in the US starting with Thanksgiving) focuses on so many things; hanging with others you care about, giving things to others (and receiving things), sharing in good times.  It attempts to boast a shiny, happy feeling, but oftentimes there are so many who are left out in the cold.  And sometimes those who have plenty opportunity for the shiny-happy don't take advantage of truly positive acts for themselves or others.

I think that's what scenario person at the top of this post was experiencing.  A good deed was done, a nicety paid forward to someone who probably doesn't see that very often, and that person in turn was very cool, and very thankful about it.  But scenario person saw that so many of the more fortunate aren't more thankful and should be.  That's the big point.

The point to this rambling blog for the weekend is whether it's the holidays or any other time of year, good deeds matter.  They can catch on, whatever form they take doesn't matter.  The good vibes will be heartfelt, and I'll bet they will be passed on someway, somehow.  If the mood strikes, do something nice for someone.  It'll snowball.  I promise.

Also try and say "Merry/Happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza".  If that doesn't fit who you are, simply say "Hello", "Thanks" or "Have a great day".  Something as simple as a greeting can brighten someone's day.

And if you are doing well, be thankful for that.  Thankful for your health, or a roof over your head, or for family and friends that care about your existence.  That in and of itself might may you happy and/or grateful enough to spread good cheer, or say hello to someone who might not've been spoken to all day.  I'd bet they would appreciate it, and you would too.

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Be Excellent...to Yourselves

If you're a decent person, don't beat yourself up.  You can always go uphill from here.  Whether that's learning more, focusing more on helping others, getting healthy/healthier, changing your career or anything else you deem a positive you need to form a plan of action.  Yes, it might take a while, but believe in yourself that you can do it and you WILL.

Also, if you're not doing so well, don't be down on yourself.  Talk to others; family, friends, a hotline or support group (online or in person).  People are out there to help you, whether they know you or not.  You can get better.

If you know someone out there who is having a rough time, be there for them.  If they don't want help, be there if they need it and keep watch for when they do.  If they do want the help and you're willing to give it, bless you for it.

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To cap off this post for the year, I will say I'm doing alright.  Moni unfortunately passed away at the end of September.  Her breast cancer unfortunately came back and I think it went for her lungs, as her breathing capabilities took a turn for the worst very quickly.  I'd headed out for a trip west to see my brother married, and came back to her behaving much less like herself.  A little over a week later, I made the decision to have her put down (right after the most recent ConGaloosh).  Damn...it never gets any easier.

I reflect on losing her as I do others, critter and people who I loved and left me with wisdom, memories to cherish, and the inevitable whole in my heart.  The pain has been easing up over time, and the flashbacks to when she was here have left me with warm fuzzies in lieu of tears as of late.

Another kind of pain has been around for a while and doesn't seem to be letting up - for 6 or so months, in fact (yes, I am a colossal dumbass for this).  I should've gotten it checked out earlier.  Besides, the culprit has been around just shy of my turning 34, and it's 2 plus years later.  I'll take care of it though.  Come the afternoon of  January 2nd, it'll be one step closer to figuring what's up.  Breast cancer?  Nah, it's not in the family history.  Sure, I could be a trailblazer for it, but I'd rather start something else.  The biopsy/excision I'll have should get rid of whatever is in there, along with the pain that's been spreading.  From there, if it's benign (non-cancer), I think next year will be devoted to experiencing more, learning more and helping more.  If it's malignant (fuck you, cancer), I'll learn more about my options, do what I can to conquer it and move forward.  Helping others in this boat, regardless of the diagnosis sounds like a good plan too.  Illness of this ilk isn't something that should be experienced solitarily.  If you can pass along your experience, what's worked and what hasn't, you never know who it could help.

I guess that's it for the year.  I hope everyone fares well and has a great holiday.  :)

A Visit to Whoville - The Grinch musical in Durham

I've only been a fan of Stefan Karl Stefansson's work since earlier this year.  I caught a glimpse of him on Lazytown one morning, backtracked to find the show a few months later ("Who was that funny guy in the striped outfit?"), which lead to a marathon watch of most of seasons 1 and 2 during a weekend marred by a lousy cold.  He made me laugh and smile, the show carried a good message and it's uniqueness drew me in.  Who knew that a few months later I'd be seeing him perform another beloved character in person?  I'm still waiting for someone to pinch me.

A few months ago, Stefan and his official Fan Club announced on Facebook that he'd be performing again as the Grinch in the musical version of the famed animated classic "How the Grinch Stole Christmas".  The traveling version of the show wouldn't be playing in Florida, but it would show up in Durham, North Carolina.  That was close enough for me to consider driving.  9 hours on the road, though?  I mulled it over for a few days until the tickets went on sale.  I think it took me 3 hours from that point to decide on buying a ticket, flying in and staying for a day.

Now fast forward a few weeks.  While the initial excitement of buying the ticket was beginning to wear off, I pondered whether or not I should do anything in return for the cast.  Sure, everyone involved would be working on something fun, but it'd also be very hard work and they'd be away for a number of weeks from family and friends.  Why not show them that their participation is appreciated, especially during this time of year?  So yes, with a little help on numbers, a little creativity and elbow grease I created some very interesting gifts.  (links at the bottom of this post to the crafts themselves)

Onto the trip to Durham itself.  I made it into town from Central Florida, got to check in earlier than expected, and had lunch at the Blue Coffee Cafe.  If you want a local experience with good food and hospitable service, aim for these folks.  They make good burgers, and have carrot cake without raisins!  After eating, I headed back to my room to assemble the bag of gifts and make my way over to DPAC (the Durham Performing Arts Center).  I'd been keeping in touch with another member of the cast (Grandpa Who), and he'd filled me in on where to ask for him or drop off the gifts if he wasn't available.  Making my way to that spot quickly and quietly, I found where the cast took breaks in the sort-of-fresh-air.  And who would walk out to that area but Stefan himself!  He was talking to a few folks, so I stood there for a moment or two (didn't want to interrupt), and called out for him when he walked away to stand on his own.  He looked down, I introduced myself and passed along the gifts.  I can tell you that I'm pretty good at reading people, and his reaction was genuine, kind and thoughtful.  I kept the conversation brief, bid him "see you later at the show" and made my way to the DPAC building to get my ticket and get in from the cold.

Note: His eyes are very blue, and stood out from the Grinch makeup he was donning when I met him.  Stefan, you're adorable, even in green!  :)

I got into the building with ticket in hand, and after a pit stop for a purchase (Grinch merchandise!), a grab of a program or two and a short wait, I headed in to my spot in the theater.  I initially thought I'd be 3 rows back, and the guy at the box office told me I may have an "obstructed view" (I had to sign a waiver saying I understood that.).  But one of the ushers let me to my spot and I had to bite back a swearword or two.  I got front row!  Sure I was off to one side, but this was freaking FRONT ROW.  As you can tell, I'm still excited about that.  It was thrilling to see families with little ones make their way to the row too.  What a way to indoctrinate your little one on musicals.  (When I have my own kids, I'm doing the very same thing.)

SEMI SPOILER ALERT (AVERT YOUR EYES AND SCROLL a little)
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I'm kidding, sort of.  What I can tell you is the cast does a wonderful job bringing this story to life, and as the Grinch, Stefan really puts his heart and soul into the character, making him the meanest, slimiest, stinkiest incarnation of the green guy you've ever seen.  His face (heck, his whole body) gets a workout as he pulls it left and right, traipsing around the stage bemoaning Christmas for the mass consumerism he sees and sickly sweet attitude that turns his stomach.  But of course, the story ends on a good note, with the Grinch seeing Christmas for what it really is; an opportunity to spend time with family and friends, enjoying good times, pleasant company...and Who roast beast.

One thing I'm not sure Stefan expands on in interviews that I always got from the story was "goodwill toward men".  Treating others with kindness and paying it forward (good deeds), whether it be a gesture or a tangible item may make someone's day/week/year/life and maybe even save a life.  Cindy Lou encompassed this action towards the Grinch with her lack of fear towards him and desire to have him see the good he could have in his life, which helped pave the way for his eventual change in attitude (and heart size).

Note: Stefan's singing is amazing.  His vocal range is all over the place; high, low and snarly.

***Also, a special shout out to Grandpa Who (David) - You were awesome!!  Perfect parts Who patriarch and silliness.
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END OF SPOILERS

At the end of the night, I attempted to head back to the cast's hangout to say "Hi" and see if I could get an autograph, but with crowds passing by and security being extra watchful, I didn't make it over there.  Before turning in for the night (and grousing over some health shenanigans I'm dealing with), I lamented not getting the chance to talk more with Stefan and meet up with David as well (he helped a bit with this, and for that I'm thankful).  But, I shut those thoughts down with a "knock it off Jen and get to sleep", and was about to nod off when my phone dinged at me.  Within the next ten minutes or so, my attitude did a complete 360.  Stefan and David passed along their thanks for the surprise of gifts.  We had hoped for more time for introductions and chatting, but that moment didn't come this time around.  I think if the opportunity presents itself again, it'll happen.

And now here are a few pictures of the crafts.  The item I made en masse (around 63 or so that I placed in a holiday themed box) for the cast was something my Mom taught me to make when I was a child.  She has a knack for creativity as well, and showed me how to make her own take on candy cane reindeer.

This one has two antlers and a red nose, reminiscent of Rudolph, of course.  Growing up, I made it for class every few years for the holidays, and for teams at work when I was onsite.

I came up with a Max design (as in the Grinch's loyal canine companion) after meshing the cartoon version with pictures of what I saw of Max in the musical.  Here he is in a selfie from Durham. (Sorry for the blurry picture.  At least it isn't a photobomb.)

And, feel free to giggle at this Grinch, because I did.  I had a few folks I showed him to call him awesome.  I called him Chewbacca's grumpy green uncle.  But I was happy enough with him to send him off to a better home with Stefan.  (Take note that the orange fuzzy stuff is actually two slap bracelets.  I found those at Target over Halloween and couldn't resist getting them.  Lazytown fans - Do they remind you of anything?)

Last, but certainly not least is something I made for David, because he helped, he responded when I asked questions and I thought it was nice of him to do so.  Without further adieu, it's Grandpa Who!  (The specs should be red, but I preferred green.  The creator wins.)

Anywho, that's it for the recap on this 24 hour adventure, as well as a mini recount of the Grinch musical itself.  If folks really want to know more about the musical who may never get to see it, shoot me a message (via FB or email) and I'll fill you in.  I'd prefer to not drop huge spoilers here for those who may catch it sometime.

Again, BIG thanks and kudos to the cast of the Grinch.  You did a fantastic job bringing this story to life.  Dr Suess would be proud (and he'd say so out loud...in rhyme...all the freaking time).  Thank you Stefan and David.  You made my Christmas season experience brighter.  And Stefan, your work will never cease to lift my spirits.  I appreciate it.